The Lonliness Birds are Circling; I'm going to get my Burka

I found my identity and comfort in my church for 3 years since I moved to Spokane and married Rodney. We stayed despite the "high turnover rate" in our church and some serious mistakes made by the pastor. We can forgive mistakes and would never leave the church just because we don't agree with every decision the pastor makes. When the leadership that we serve under and with is morally flawed and is not being dealt with, it's time to rethink our positions in the church and even our placement in that church. I've never understood what it means to be descriminated against. I was raised in a family where the partnership between my parents was always celebrated. Women are not supposed to be subservient, nor are they supposed to have no say in what goes on in their home, at church, or anywhere else. I used to laugh at the feminists and think, "the Bible says to be submissive to your husband, why can't they understand that?" What I didn't know is that I was extremely blessed to have a husband who loves and respects me and my opinion and who wants to be a team with me. For the first time in my life I've been unfairly discriminated against because I am a woman. I felt strongly that this was the time to leave the church where we had grown and struggled and loved all of our family life. We prayed, and I left the final decision up to my husband. Now that he feels peace about leaving, I feel suddenly bereft of the church who sustained us for so long. Without that church I would have been homeless and without child care when I finally found a job, without furniture, without friends, without a ministry. They helped in all these areas and much more. So why does God call us away when the church has been so positive in our lives. The fear of the unknown sometimes keeps us grasping and something small when God wants to give us something much bigger and better than what we could ever imagine. I know all of that in my mind, and yet the lonliness birds are laying their stone eggs in my heart. I ask for prayers.